Hating yourself is rejecting reality. It’s focusing energy on past decisions you can’t change, and making dark assumptions about the future. What is more complacent than labeling yourself a failure and giving up?
I’m not attacking you, I just want you to see this isn’t working so you can try something else. Acceptance is living in reality, not rejecting it. Accepting yourself means “What’s done is done. This is where I am. What can I do right now to make my life better?”
Embrace the present moment and use it to get you one step closer to where you want to go.
Further Reading: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach is a great guide to learning to accept yourself. We’re never going to be perfect. There will always be one more finish line. So you can learn to accept yourself as a work in progress or these dark feelings will never get better.